Hey there –

Happy Thanksgiving. I had told myself that I was going to have a computer – free day today, but something happened that I just have to tell you about.

I was having my own, quiet Thanksgiving day. I put some sweet potatoes in the oven, watched a bit of the Macy’s parade on TV, then made a call to my father to wish him a happy day. The best way to describe my dad is, well, he’s a bit of a curmudgeon. He can be surly, and he can be grumpy, and he often has difficulty seeing the Light in things. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great dad and loves his kids and would do anything for them, but — he’s a grump. So, it came to no surprise to me today when I called to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving, that he reluctantly, grumpily said "Thanks".

I didn’t think much of it at the time, it really was to be expected, and the rest of the conversation went on its usual course. I don’t have many holiday traditions, but one that I really stick to is watching Miracle on 34th Street on Thanksgiving. Every year I get my best fuzzy blanket, make the biggest cup of tea I possibly can, and hunker down on the couch to watch it. Not long after getting comfortable today, with the remote in my hand, I got to thinking about my father and his reluctant acceptance of my good wishes for him. Even on today, the day that is all about giving thanks, he had difficulty saying the word. And as I reflected further back on his life, I realized he did have alot in his life to be thankful for, but he just didn’t make it a habit of acknowledging it. I don’t think he has even ever tried express deep gratitude. This realization made me quite sad, but also promptly lead me to another revelation…..

That gratitude has to be practiced! Those of you who are on Mambo Sam’s forum know that the question of faith often comes up, how do we have faith, how to we keep faith when the times are tough (that answer is that tough times is when faith sees you thru….. if you lose faith when the going gets tough, then you never really had any faith in the first place — but I’m digressing) I think, in order to truly have a deep and abiding sense of gratitude, that we need to practice saying "Thank you" everyday, not just on Hallmark days like today.

Practice saying "Thank you"??? I bet you are all thinking there’s too much rum in my mug … or not enough. But think about it…how are good habits established? how do things become second nature to people? how do things become a part of us? Practice, Practice, Practice.

If these seems overwhelming, then start small. Be grateful for your car starting in the morning. Be grateful for your mail carrier. Be grateful for your electric blanket. Be grateful for healthy toe nails.

If this is difficult for you, then be grateful for things that are *not*. For example, be grateful that you don’t have  a broken arm . Be grateful that your shoe laces didn’t break this morning. Be grateful that your cell phone battery isn’t dead. As you practice being grateful for what is not, it will soon be easier to be grateful for what is.  For example: I am so very grateful that I do not have toe nail fungus becomes I am so very grateful for healthy toe nails.

So, my challenge to you all is to think of one thing tonight that you are truly grateful for on some level. How big or small that is, it doesn’t matter. Thats not the point. As you lie there, just before you go to sleep, think of that thing you are grateful for. Clear everything else out of your heart and your mind except for that one thing you are grateful for. Be still and then examine the feeling that comes along with that thought. Be as still as you can for as long as you can, and let that feeling fill you up. Some of you might only be able to hold this for a minute. Some of you might be able to do this until you drift off to sleep. How long you can hold the feeling isn’t the point — its the practice of finding and holding the feeling that is important. Hold the feeling peacefully for as long as you can. Each night, you will  be able to stay in that grateful space a bit longer. And as each day passes, you will find it easier to feel that feeling and become aware of more and more things that you are truly grateful for. You will find those 2 little words just rolling off your tongue with no problem at all. With practice and time, I know that you will begin to see  things around you shift, improve, become easier and lighter.

Give it a try. You have nothing to lose but a minute or two each day by trying, and a whole lot to gain.

Please let me know what results you get! Post your comments/results below on this blog. I really would like to see how this is working for you.

Let me just say again how truly thankful I am for my Spellmaker family and to have all of you in my life.

Light and Love

Sister Bridget

Hey there!

It’s that time of year again…where we all need to keep up with our regular, already hectic schedule, and everything that comes with the Holidays as well. Do you find yourself stressed planning your thanksgiving feast? Would you like to find out how you can enjoy a more relaxed, fun time and feel the true spirit of this yearly event? Then read this article below for some suggestions of how you can create a day of thanksgiving instead of stress and exhaustion.

Light and Love

Sister Bridget

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I personally would rather be filled with joy and gratitude instead of just stuffed with food on this joyous occasion. After all, the essence of the holiday is to acknowledge and celebrate all the positive things in your life. It is a time that reminds us to be grateful and appreciate everything and everyone, including ourselves. Is that the experience you have had or are planning?

To the contrary, I was a guest at a family Thanksgiving that I felt was missing the true spirit of the holiday. Four stressed women were rushing around the kitchen preparing the many traditional courses. They were getting ready to serve enough for 20 people when only 10 were present. Can you relate to that?

After at least two days of preparation, we all finally sat down by the decorative table filled with the colorful foods. Immediately the adults and children started to stuff their plates and themselves of all that would fit on them. It seemed like a movie on fast forward. In no time, the meal was over and the cleaning process began. Some guests went straight to the television.

When everyone was ready, a violent rented movie was the entertainment for the night. I quickly retreated to the bedroom to avoid the scary music and abusive actions.

Needless to say, I left feeling a strange sensation of being physically full, but emotionally and spiritually empty. I decided at that point that I would only create or attend holistic thanksgivings.

The next year I invited people who I knew were alone and did not have a place to go on this joyous holiday. I asked the guests to bring a traditional dish so that no one, especially me, would have to slave in the kitchen for days.

Before we consumed the delicious looking food, I suggested that everyone share what they were thankful for. People expressed gratitude for their health, relationships, children, homes, abundance, and jobs. Others were grateful for their opportunities to make a difference in this world.

Of course, we blessed the food and all the people who made it possible for us to have the provisions available on the table. Finally, we began to slowly enjoy the color, taste, and texture of the different food offerings.

After dinning, we gathered in the living room to share more of our blessings and play some fun, group games. Charades is always a great choice. Hours later, we all left filled with food, and also satisfied emotionally and spiritually because we experienced the essence of Thanksgiving.

On other occasions, I invited friends over for a Day After Thanksgiving Potluck. I asked people to just bring their leftovers, and I made sure that I had a plain cake and lots of candles ready.

We all gathered in the living room where I had placed glowing candles on the coffee table next to the cake. To create a reverent mood, I turned off the ceiling lights. Then I offered everyone the opportunity to come up to the table one at a time in silence, light a candle, place it on the cake, and then share with the group what they were thankful for. The rest of us remained quiet and just listened. There was no discussion, just heartfelt sharing.

To demonstrate the gratitude ritual, I lit a candle, put it on the cake, and told them how thankful I was that everyone was here tonight to share their food, love, joy, and gratitude. I also included some personal appreciations. When the next person was ready, they quietly came up and did the same.

The room was filled with reverence, peace, love, and joy. After everyone had the opportunity to participate, we did a lot of hugging, and went into the kitchen to also enjoy the physical nurturing.

The guests took part in the cleaning up and when they all left, I felt so fulfilled. The gratitude gauge was very high. I felt satisfied that I had created exactly what I wanted, a holistic, satisfying Thanksgiving. I was fed spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. That is a delicious feeling you have to experience to know. Happy Thanksgiving!

Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, Marriage, Family Therapist.