Is Gratitude Your Attitude?

By: Vanessa Bsirsky

Have you ever had a moment in your life when everything around you just seemed negative, hopeless, and doomed?

Of course you have, otherwise you wouldn’t be human!

We all have encountered – and will continue to do so – situations and circumstances that just feel disheartening, overwhelming and maybe even paralyzing. In times like this, we might tend to ask ourselves one or even all of the following questions:

Why does this always happen to me? Why do things have to be so difficult? What’s the point of me trying so hard when all I ever do seems to end up in a complete disaster?

If you have ever dwelled on any of the above – which you probably have – then I would like to encourage you to pause for a moment.

Think about it :

Did these questions encourage you to move toward a much more positive state of mind ? Or, and this is far more likely, did they simply make you feel sorry for yourself ?

Hmmm……

Also, do you truly believe that you are the only one who struggles ?

I mean, really?

If you do ,then I suggest that you wake up and stop taking yourself so seriously ! Every single person on this planet goes through difficult times , and life can be very tough for all of us.

But what could have happened if you had asked yourself a whole set of different questions when going through a challenging phase? Questions that would have been more empowering? For example:

What is the lesson to be learned from this situation? What is this really trying to show me ? How can I turn things around ? How can I stop this from happening ? And also, is there maybe a much deeper meaning to this that I don’t yet understand?

I can assure you that the outcome would have been a lot more fruitful. Tony Robbins once said that life is like a game of Jeopardy – all the solutions and all the answers are already within you, you only need to ask the right questions. Aha………..interesting!

But let’s delve a little bit deeper…

What did we focus on when we asked ourselves the first set of questions? That’s right, on all the things that were wrong with our lives !

But hang on Vanessa, should we just ignore those bad feelings and live in a state of denial?

Of course not – allow yourself to feel the pain, acknowledge it , do everything in your power to heal it, and then clean up your act and move on.

How?

By implementing the lessons learned, and starting to focus on all the positive things in your life !

I can hear a few people complaining now, saying things like :

"What on earth is she talking about ? My life is bad ! Besides, I am single, I am broke, and I hate my job ! Why don’t the council just do something ? Anyway, the world is full of criminals and terrorists ! How can anyone in their right mind be positive ? How can anyone bring children into this world ? These people have just lost the plot !"

Ouch!!

If that’s you, then I would like to encourage you to re-think, and consider the following:

What have you got in your life that you could – and in my personal opinion should – be really grateful for? How about your health? And the fact that you got somewhere to live? The fact that you got food on your table on a daily basis? A lot of people haven’t got that. How about the electricity and hot water that you have in your home?

You might think that electricity and hot water aren’t anything special, and that you ought to have them anyway.

Why do you think that? Many people haven’t got them and never will do.

How about your family ? Your friends, or even the one good and loyal friend that you have? Your pet, who loves you unconditionally ? Your eyesight , which enables you to read this blog at this very moment ? Your faith, your love, your generosity ? Your promising future, your furniture, your car, your job, your business, your ideas ? Your strength to overcome difficult times ? Your freedom?

Also, do you really have to go along with all the negative stuff ? And do you want to? Or could you be part of a different , more positive kind of evolution altogether ?

Hmmm….

Remember,it’s your decision whether you want to fall asleep in front of the television every night, or whether you want to surround yourself with positive people and read empowering books. It’s your decision whether you want to blame and complain, or whether you want to sit by a stream and meditate. Furthermore, it is not only your decision, it is also your responsibility.

But what do you mean by that? What does responsibility really stand for ? Responsibility is our ability to respond to life in a constructive, mature and positive manner.

Why not start and take some responsibility now ?

Make a list of all the things that you are grateful for, and review it from time to time. This will help you to completely shift your focus , and show you that the universe is actually supporting and nurturing you, rather than holding you back.

Whatever you are grateful for will grow in your life – guaranteed.

Vanessa Bsirsky is a life coach and the author of the new book "Happiness Secrets Revealed." Vanessa has got great leadership skills and is a natural motivator.She is particularly interested in creating abundance on all levels.

How to Stay in a Good Mood

By: Michael A. Verdicchio

Have you ever noticed how easy it is for people to be happy, excited, and positive when things go well? When there are no big problems, people feel good, and life is great! At those times, it is easy to be in a good mood. But, can you be in a good mood when things are not going well?

In general, when things are going well and there are no immediate problems, most people find it easy to be positive. As a result, they are in a good mood, and have a good day.

(For some people, it really doesn’t matter if they are having a good day or a bad day. They remain convinced that even if something good is happening now, it certainly won’t last. I honestly don’t understand how someone with this line of thinking could ever be in a good mood.)

However, what about those times when a problem comes up? What happens when something unpleasant presents itself? It’s not so easy to remain positive…or is it?

Nobody wants to have a problem come up, no matter how small. However, negative and unpleasant circumstances are going to happen from time to time. That’s just a part of life. Tires wear out, sinks get clogged, and sometimes, people just do stupid things!

When something negative does comes up, most people change from being happy and positive to being upset. The circumstances and situations have changed, and consequently their mood changes. For some people, even the slightest bump in the road can really set them off emotionally!

Our emotions and feelings are a direct product of our thoughts. We are the ones who choose our thoughts. We can’t always choose what happens in life, but we can always choose what we think.

I’m not saying that we should try to live in a make believe world by telling ourselves blanket statements like, "Nothing is wrong; everything is okay." We certainly do need to assess the situation in order to respond with specific positive statement.

What? Respond with a positive statement? Yes, respond with a positive statement. A solution oriented statement. (Maybe even respond with two or three positive statements!)

Suppose you come home from the grocery store to find that your eggs are broken, because of the way they were packed into your grocery bag at the store. What would your reaction be?

You could get angry. You could say, "Now I’ve got to go all the way back to the store! Why don’t they teach those young kids how to do it right? I knew he had a lousy attitude…probably did it on purpose. I’m going to talk to the manager!"

Hey! Chill out! This may sound like a silly illustration, but as a teenager I worked at a grocery store, putting items into grocery bags, and believe me, I have seen far worse reactions!

Can you respond with a positive statement for this situation? Sure! Why not?

"Okay, I’ll just take these back now. I wonder, is there anything else that I need while I’m out? I I’m certainly glad that there are plenty of eggs at the store. In fact, I’m glad to have so much food available right down the street."

Here’s the point. Our thoughts determine our emotions and feelings. Then, our actions follow. The kind of mood you are in right now is not someone else’s fault; it is a result of your decision to think the way that you are thinking.

Try to evaluate your reactions for a few days. Especially take note of how you react to something unpleasant. Observe where your mind goes, and watch how your emotions and feelings correspond.

Here’s the challenge. Starting with little things, like a couple of broken eggs, you can begin to train your mind to react differently in unpleasant and negative situations. If you stay consistent, you can get to the point that even in the midst of a very serious negative situation, you will still be in control of your mind, your emotions, and most importantly, your actions.

Many people allow their current circumstances and situations to determine their thoughts, emotions and actions. They do not realize that they can change the way that they react. Train your mind to react the way you want. Learn to live your life being in control of your thoughts, your emotions and your actions.

Michael A. Verdicchio is a husband, father, minister, and broadcaster. He has been the voice on numerous productions over the years.