Hey Gang!<\/p>\n
I have been working my way through this great book – Emotional Freedom by Dr Judith Orloff. And I do mean working – its an awesome book with exercises to work thru. I am really enjoying this book! When I saw this article it seemed perfect to pass along, and I am sure some of us can identify with the topic here.<\/p>\n
Light and Love<\/p>\n
Sister Bridget Corfield<\/p>\n
www.spellmaker.com<\/p>\n
*****begin article*****<\/p>\n
The Emotional Vampire Survival Guide: Emotional Freedom in Action<\/p>\n
\nAdapted from Dr. Judith Orloff\u2019s new book \u201cEmotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life\u201d (Harmony Books, 2009) <\/p>\n
To be emotionally free you can\u2019t remain na\u00efve about relationships. Some people are positive and mood elevating. Others can suck optimism and serenity right out of you. Vampires do more than drain your physical energy. The super-malignant ones can make you believe you\u2019re an unworthy, unlovable wretch who doesn\u2019t deserve better. The subtler species inflict damage by making smaller digs which can make you feel bad about yourself\u2014for instance, \u201cDear, I see you\u2019ve put on a few pounds\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019re overly sensitive!\u201d Suddenly they\u2019ve thrown you emotionally off-center you by prodding areas of shaky self-worth. To protect your sensitivity, it\u2019s important to name and combat these vampires. The concept struck such a collective chord in my book Positive Energy that in Emotional Freedom I illustrate how it applies to protecting your emotions and not absorbing other people\u2019s negativity. In the book I discuss these vampires to watch for and ways to deal with them.<\/p>\n
SIGNS THAT YOU\u2019VE ENCOUNTERD AN EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE
\n(from \u201cEmotional Freedom\u201d by Judith Orloff MD) <\/p>\n
\u2022 Your eyelids are heavy\u2014you\u2019re ready for a nap <\/p>\n
\u2022 Your mood takes a nosedive <\/p>\n
\u2022 You want to binge on carbs or comfort foods <\/p>\n
\u2022 You feel anxious, depressed, or negative <\/p>\n
\u2022 You feel put down, sniped at, or slimed <\/p>\n
TYPES OF EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES
\nVampire #1: The Narcissist
\nTheir motto is \u201cMe first.\u201d Everything is all about them. They have a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, hog attention, and crave admiration. They\u2019re dangerous because they lack empathy and have a limited capacity for unconditional love. If you don\u2019t do things their way, they become punishing, withholding, or cold.
\nHow to Protect Your Emotions: Keep your expectations realistic. These are emotionally limited people. Try not to fall in love with one or expect them to be selfless or love without strings attached. Never make your self-worth dependent on them or confide your deepest feelings to someone who won\u2019t cherish them. To successfully communicate, the hard truth is that you must show how something will be to their benefit. Though it\u2019s better not to have to contend with this tedious ego stroking, if the relationship is unavoidable use the above strategies to achieved desired results. <\/p>\n
Vampire #2: The Victim
\nThese vampires grate on you with their \u201cpoor-me\u2019 attitude and are allergic to taking responsibility for their actions. The world is always against them, the reason for their unhappiness. When you offer a solution to their problems they always say, \u201cYes, but.\u201d You might end up screening your calls or purposely avoid them. As a friend, you may want to help but their tales of woe overwhelm you.
\nHow to Protect Your Emotions: Set kind but firm limits. Listen briefly and tell a friend or relative, \u201cI love you but I can only listen for a few minutes unless you want to discuss solutions. Then I\u2019d be thrilled to brainstorm with you.\u201d With a coworker, listen briefly, sympathize by saying, \u201cI\u2019ll keep good thought for things to work out. Then say, I hope you understand, but I\u2019m on deadline and must go back to work. Then use \u201cthis isn\u2019t a good time\u201d body language such as crossing your arms and breaking eye contact to help set these healthy limits. <\/p>\n
Vampire #3: The Controller
\nThese people obsessively try to control you and dictate what you\u2019re supposed to be and feel. They have an opinion about everything. They\u2019ll control you by invalidating your emotions if they don\u2019t fit into their rulebook. They often start sentences with \u201cYou know what you need?\u201d and then proceed to tell you. You end up feeling dominated, demeaned, or put down.
\nHow to Protect Your Emotions: The secret to success is never try and control a controller. Be healthily assertive, but don\u2019t tell them what to do. You can say, \u201cI value your advice but really need to work through this myself.\u201d Be confident but don\u2019t play the victim or sweat the small stuff. Focus on high priority issues rather than on putting the cap on the toothpaste. <\/p>\n
Vampire #4: The Splitter or Borderline Personality
\nSplitters see things as either good or bad and have love\/hate relationships. One minute they idealize you, the next you\u2019re the enemy if you upset them. They have a sixth sense for knowing how to pit people against each another and will retaliate if they feel you have wronged them. They are people who are fundamentally damaged\u2014inwardly they feel as if they don\u2019t exist and become alive when they get angry. They\u2019ll keep you on an emotional rollercoaster and you may walk on eggshells to avoid their anger. <\/p>\n
How to Protect Your Emotions: Stay calm. Don\u2019t react when your buttons get pushed. Splitters feed off of anger. They respond best to structure and limit setting. If one goes into a rage, tell the person, \u201cI\u2019m leaving until you get calmer. Then we can talk.\u201d Refuse to take sides when he or she tries to turn you against someone else. With family members, it\u2019s best to show a united front and not let a splitter\u2019s venomous opinions poison your relationships.<\/p>\n
About Judith Orloff<\/strong> **end article**<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Hey Gang! I have been working my way through this great book – Emotional Freedom by Dr Judith Orloff. And I do mean working – its an awesome book with exercises to work thru. I am really enjoying this book! When I saw this article it seemed perfect to pass along, and I am sure […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[505],"tags":[7,6,120,15,8,420,3,25,143,362,4,460],"class_list":["post-677","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books","tag-free-spells","tag-love-spells","tag-magick","tag-mambo-sam","tag-money-spells","tag-sister-bridget","tag-spellmaker","tag-spellmaker-com","tag-spells","tag-tarot","tag-voodoo","tag-voodoo-lamps"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/spellmaker.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/677","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/spellmaker.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/spellmaker.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spellmaker.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spellmaker.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=677"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/spellmaker.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/677\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/spellmaker.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=677"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spellmaker.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=677"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spellmaker.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=677"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nJudith Orloff MD, an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at
\nUCLA and intuition expert.
www.drjudithorloff.com<\/p>\n