Tag: free spells

How do you deal with Frustration?

Good Morning!!!

Hope you all are doing well and are enjoying this lovely summer!

As some of you know, I have been working at times to settle some matters dealing with my father's estate. Estate stuff, at least in this situation, tends not to be very simple. I often have an idea or thought or plan of how things will go with a certain issue, and then, well, God Laughs!

Driving home yesterday, I certainly was feeling rather frustrated. I got to thinking alot about this feeling, and I really don not like it! It sucks, basically. And I think I would really rather not feel it so much anymore. I did a little surfing when I got home, to see if there are some tips on dealing with frustration. I would like to share with you what I have learned….

First, just to help clarify – Frustration is a feeling that arises when something occurs which keeps us from reaching a goal or expectation. There are other feelings which can occur as well, such as disappointment. BUT mix a little anger with your disappointment, and you have frustration.

"Expectation is the mother of all frustration"

…… Antonio Banderas

Second, we can experience different levels of frustration in different parts of our lives. Some folks are more easily frustrated in the work enviornment, some with family, some in more social settings. It seems to be the more intense a situation, the more important the goal is to us, the more easily we can become frustrated.

Anyone out there working on a love situation? How important is it to you that it resolve successfully?

Third, how we handle our frustration can definitely directly influence how much frustration we could be feeling in the future! Huh, you say? I said that the first time I read this as well. But look at it this way….if we learn to handle our frustration productively, and that leads to a positive resolution to our situation, then there will be nothing to get frustrated about in the future!

Of course, frustration is not always a bad thing. It can be quite motivating and can help us figure out steps so that we can reach our goals. But it is how we choose to express our frustration may cause more stress in our life and the lives of others.

So, how do we handle our frustration? What are some good tips to practice or skills to develop?

I found this wonderful article by Judith Orloff about Frustration, and ways to handle it. Dr Orloff has 4 tips for handiing frustration with people. Here is an exerpt:

Tip #1. Focus on a specific issue—don't escalate or mount a personal attack.
For instance, "I feel frustrated when you promise to do something but there is no follow-through." No resorting to threats or insults. In an even, non-blaming tone, lead with how the behavior makes you feel rather than how you think the other person is wrong.

Tip #2. Listen non-defensively without reacting or interrupting.
It's a sign of respect to hear a person's point of view, even if you disagree. Avoid an aggressive tone or body language. Try not to squirm with discomfort or to judge.

Tip #3. Intuit the feelings behind the words.
When you can appreciate someone's motivation, it's easier to be patient. Try to sense if this person is frightened, insecure, up against a negative part of themselves they've never confronted. If so, realize this can be painful. See what change they're open to.

Tip #4. Respond with clarity and compassion.
This attitude takes others off the defensive so they're more comfortable admitting their part in causing frustration. Describe everything in terms of remedies to a specific task, rather then generalizing. State your needs. For instance, "I'd really appreciate you not shouting at me even if I disappoint you." If the person is willing to try, show how pleased you are. Validate their efforts: "Thanks for not yelling at me. I really value your understanding" See if the behavior improves.

(end exerpt)

I will be trying some of these techniques with the various realtors, inspectors, lawyers, etc associated with my dad's Estate and let you know which ones I have found helpful. If you try any of these tips out, I would love to hear how they worked for you :-)

Love

Sister Bridget

August 6, 2013
Sad to See it End!

Happy Monday, everyone! I cannot believe that Papa Legba Month is coming to end here at www.spellmaker.com! Of course, we honor, serve, and call upon Papa throughout the year, but his month is always so special to us all. 🙂

But luckily, it isn't over yet! There is still plenty of time to participate. 🙂

We are still accepting petitions for our two last events:

1. Our online Papa Legba ritual will take place on June 27, 9 pm Eastern time (that is 8 pm Central time, 7 pm Mountain time, and 6 pm Pacific time). To join in or to send in a petition, please see the informational page at www.spellmaker.com/prayer.htm

2. Our last in-house ritual to Papa will take place on St. Peter's Feast Day, June 29. This is a ritual that we do in house and you are welcome to send in a petition. For information, please see the page at www.spellmaker.com/legba.htm

Remember, Papa is the great communicator, the translator of all languages, the opening of door, and the clearer of paths! He is so much more, but those are the main things for which we know him.

He is also known as one of the kindest, most understanding lwa – he wants to help you with your problems!

So, please, feel free to join us as we wind up this great month!

Love,

Mambo Samantha Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

Related articles

Coffee with Papa Legba

Papa Alegba Month is Almost Here!

Papa Legba & Saint Lazarus

Thank you, Papa Legba and Saint Anthony!

June 24, 2013
How much is too much?

Hi there-

I came across this very good little commentary and wanted to share! It says so much in a few paragraphs. How much is enough? How much is good for us to tolerate? or not tolerate? I hope you all find this as helpful as I did.

Love

Sister Bridget

Too much Tolerance can be a Bad Thing.

Commentary

By

Robert Pagliarini

(MoneyWatch) You may not know it, but you have a tolerance meter — an internal gauge that tells you when enough is enough. The problem for many is that their tolerance meter is set too high — that they put up with far too much for far too long. We stay at jobs we hate because it is "comfortable enough," and because changing requires so much more energy. We'll endure critical bosses who never have nice things to say about us because we tell ourselves that they're not "that bad." We'll live paycheck to paycheck for years because we fool ourselves into thinking it's the "best we can do."

It is easy to fall into the mental trap of mediocrity. Because it doesn't take much to get by, we grow complacent. We stop growing and seeking challenges. We don't push ourselves to succeed. We cultivate a lifestyle well below our potential, but one that is just good enough that it doesn't require much challenge or action.

Tolerance is critical for survival. It has allowed us to endure horrific conditions by helping us quickly adapt to the situation. Our ability to adapt to our surroundings is both a gift and a curse. There are some life forms that cannot survive unless their conditions are ideal. Vary their environment even a little and they perish. We don't have this problem. We can tolerate, and even flourish, in wild extremes.

But when it comes to our careers, relationships, health, and lives, tolerance and adaptability are also curses. It's amazing how much we can tolerate when our environment changes slowly. Incremental change is our worst enemy. It permits us to gradually accept living standards that we never would have accepted in the beginning.

The best way to determine if you have settled is to take an honest look at your present situation. Are you where you want to be? Have you forgotten once vivid dreams and aspirations? Success has been defined as the progressive realization of a worthy goal. Based on this definition, are you successful?

There is a dark side to not "settling." I'm sure there is at least one person in your life that suffers from the belief that nothing is ever good enough. No matter how successful they become or how much money they make, they are never satisfied with their lives. This mindset is a guaranteed formula for frustration and unhappiness. So while it is healthy and motivating to work for and dream about reaching your goals, it is imperative to be thankful for where you are and what you already have. Regardless of your situation, you have a thousand things for which to give thanks. Do not lose sight of these aspects of your life. Don't lose sight of how far you've come and of what you've already accomplished on your journey in life.

The solution is to demand more from yourself (and often from others!). Draw a line in the sand and make a commitment to progress. Look at your situation with a set of fresh eyes and ask yourself, "How can I do better?" The moment you realize getting by isn't good enough is the moment your life can start to change.

© 2013 CBS Interactive Inc..

June 19, 2013
A Word About Betrayal.

DON'T.

Seriously. Life will be much easier on you.

Love,

Mambo Samantha Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

June 13, 2013
On FB and in a relationship – this is a MUST READ!

Happy Friday!

Do you want this….

or this?

I came across this artlcle last night just before bed, and I had to restrain myself from getting up right then and there and posting the link! Over the past few years, I have seen this exact thing happen over and over — some of you who I have read with will remember me telling you to get off of FB and stop looking at certain people's profiles — For The Good of your Case! I am so glad that there are people looking into this issue of the impact of FB and the whole new level of knowledge or exposure we have about other people in our lives. Being able to look into someone's life this closely was not heard of 10 or 15 years ago – and of course, people were not sharing this much information then either. Balance is everything!

I do hope this article is helpful to some! And have a great weekend everyone!

Love

Sister Bridget

Excessive Facebook use can damage relationships, study finds

Facebook and other social networking web sites have revolutionized the way people create and
maintain relationships. However, new research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging
to users' romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the University of Missouri
School of Journalism, found that individuals who use Facebook excessively are far more likely to
experience Facebook–related conflict with their romantic partners, which then may cause negative
relationship outcomes including emotional and physical cheating, breakup and divorce.
In their study, Clayton, along with Alexander Nagurney, an instructor at the University of Hawaii at Hilo,
and Jessica R. Smith, a doctoral student at St. Mary's University in San Antonio, surveyed Facebook users ages 18 to 82 years old. Participants were asked to describe how often they used Facebook and how much, if any, conflict arose between their current or former partners as a result of Facebook use. The researchers found that high levels of Facebook use among couples significantly predicted Facebook-related conflict, which then significantly predicted negative relationship outcomes such as cheating, breakup, and divorce. "Previous research has shown that the more a person in a romantic relationship uses Facebook, the more likely they are to monitor their partner's Facebook activity more stringently, which can lead to feelings of jealousy," Clayton said. "Facebook-induced jealousy may lead to arguments concerning past partners. Also, our study found that excessive Facebook users are more likely to connect or reconnect with other Facebook users, including previous partners, which may lead to emotional and physical cheating."
Clayton says this trend was particularly apparent in newer relationships.
"These findings held only for couples who had been in relationships of three years or less," Clayton said.
"This suggests that Facebook may be a threat to relationships that are not fully matured. On the other hand, participants who have been in relationships for longer than three years may not use Facebook as often, or may have more matured relationships, and therefore Facebook use may not be a threat or concern."
In order to prevent such conflict from arising, Clayton recommends couples, especially those who have not been together for very long, to limit their own personal Facebook use.
"Although Facebook is a great way to learn about someone, excessive Facebook use may be damaging to
newer romantic relationships," Clayton said. "Cutting back to moderate, healthy levels of Facebook usage could help reduce conflict, particularly for newer couples who are still learning about each other."
This study is forthcoming in the Journal of Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking.

ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebook–related conflict with their romantic partners, which th

Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp

ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebook–related conflict with their romantic partners, which th

Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp

ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebook–related conflict with their romantic partners, which th

Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp

ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebook–related conflict with their romantic partners, which th

Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp

ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebook–related conflict with their romantic partners, which th

Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp

ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebook–related conflict with their romantic partners, which th

Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp

ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebook–related conflict with their romantic partners, which th

Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp

ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebook–related conflict with their romantic partners, which th

Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp

Facebook and other
social networking web sites have revolutionized the way people create
and maintain relationships. However, new research shows that Facebook
use could actually be damaging to users' romantic relationships. Russell
Clayton, a doctoral student in the University of Missouri School of
Journalism, found that individuals who use Facebook excessively are far
more likely to experience Facebook–related conflict with their romantic
partners, which then may cause negative relationship outcomes including
emotional and physical cheating, breakup and divorce.

Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp

Facebook and other
social networking web sites have revolutionized the way people create
and maintain relationships. However, new research shows that Facebook
use could actually be damaging to users' romantic relationships. Russell
Clayton, a doctoral student in the University of Missouri School of
Journalism, found that individuals who use Facebook excessively are far
more likely to experience Facebook–related conflict with their romantic
partners, which then may cause negative relationship outcomes including
emotional and physical cheating, breakup and divorce.

Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp

Facebook and other
social networking web sites have revolutionized the way people create
and maintain relationships. However, new research shows that Facebook
use could actually be damaging to users' romantic relationships. Russell
Clayton, a doctoral student in the University of Missouri School of
Journalism, found that individuals who use Facebook excessively are far
more likely to experience Facebook–related conflict with their romantic
partners, which then may cause negative relationship outcomes including
emotional and physical cheating, breakup and divorce.

Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp

June 7, 2013
Maybe it is You?

Happy Friday, everyone! Hope your week went well! Mine seemed to fly by! 🙂 That isn't a bad thing, right?

As one might suspect, I spend a great deal of time asking for and receiving guidance from our great Vodou Spirits (the lwa, les lois). In the instances where I am asking and receiving, it is very clear cut to me who needs what (since I am the one doing the asking - LOL). However, there are instances when I am sent on somewhat of a treasure hunt – someone needs something… what is it? Where is it? 😉

This time the guidance and the search took a rather circuitous route with me looking up different things for Papa Legba. (It is, after his month here at Spellmaker!) The search for Papa goodies led me to a very powerful post that Khouzhan Menfo' had done some time back regarding a visit he made to a particular monument.

When I ran across that post the guidance that followed was one of those "no guessing" guidances… chills, smiles, tears, butterflies in my stomach.. all that good stuff! That post was what I was looking for..someone, somewhere needs to see that post! I don't know who. I don't know where. I don't even know if we here at Spellmaker even know the person – all I know is this – Papa says that it will be life-altering for someone. It will set them on their path. Maybe it isn't just one person?? That part of the guidance was shielded from me (and that happens, by the way, when the guidance is something that I am just a part of – that I am just a part of of something bigger than just me and what I do).

I am sure that whomever is supposed to see this post will! I hope that they will join in on one or more of the Papa Legba free rituals this month, too! 🙂

So, anyway, you will see me posting this post just about everywhere that I post things (how many times can I say a version of "post" in a sentence?).

CLICK HERE TO READ THE POST BY KHOUZHAN MENFO'

I feel assured that this will reach the folks that it is supposed to! Happy to be merely the guide who leads you to it!

I would love it if Khouzhan Menfo's post inspires you in some way and you leave us a comment! It would be great to hear what feelings it brought to you!

Love, light, and peace,

Mambo Samantha Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

June 7, 2013
What the Funk?

Hi everyone!

I don't know what is in the air, the water, or the oscillating energy textile vibrations of the Mars connection (okay, I made that last one up)! Seriously, what is going on out there? So many folks that I know are in a huge funk right now – is it the economy? Is it some sort of global funkittude (yep, made that one up, too). Is it the political atmosphere? Disillusionment? What is causing this funk? (But, just think – if we get rid of that "k" then it turns into "fun!")

Well, if only it were that easy – I can drop that "k" and get FUN! Truth is, it usually takes a lot more than dropping a letter to get us out of a funk!

Not even the best of good articles will completely do the trick – though this one is pretty great!

http://www.highexistence.com/choose-happiness-5-ways-to-get-out-of-a-funk

I do believe understanding our funk is key! Facing that situation head-on, although frightening, is going to help us much more than trying to hide from it. Are you grieving? Are you broke? Are you broken-hearted? Have you stopped believing in yourself? Do you just not give a damn right now?

Guess what? You are not alone. You might feel isolated, but truthfully a few trips around the Internet will let you see that you have a lot of company. Heck, a trip around your friends and family might let you see that you have a lot of company! I truly believe that reaching out in some way to someone is key to helping shed that funk! Someone who will listen to you rant, rave, and probably finally break down in tears is invaluable. I have found that sometimes just verbalizing my feelings, out loud (not in an email or text) can be so helpful. When I am done, it seems that I can, somehow, face those challenges that were dragging me down.

So I am going to say step one is talk to someone! All the self help tips in the world won't help you much if you don't feel like you have someone to talk to! Find that one person you can blather all the crap out to – hopefully someone who will just sit and listen – and then take a deep breath and figure out what, amongst all the self help stuff, can help you. The article I reference above truly is a good one – it makes a lot of sense. But, if you read the article, you will see that the gentleman who wrote it, first had sort of a "breakdown" to someone he loved! THEN he was able to go on to his self-help techniques!

Of course, at Spellmaker, we sell lots of stuff for helping with negative energy – white candles, baths, etc. And I do recommend them, obviously! Sometimes you have to keep working with things – white candles are a good example of that. Using the white male or female image candles on yourself can sometimes be an ongoing thing! It just depends on how much stress you have in your life! There isn't anything wrong with feeling like you need to spark up your candle every so often and burn off that negative energy!

But most of all, I want you to talk with someone you trust! Just for a minute, wallow in and embrace that funk! Tell them what you are feeling, tell them if you feel you are at the end of your rope… you might even tell them that you aren't looking for advice – you just want to vent! 😉 Then, look for the things that will help you with the situations at hand!

I know that things seem insurmountable sometimes; I have a pile of stuff going on right now that seems exactly that! I know that I will get through it. But I share in your funk! Maybe we can share in getting rid of it, too! 🙂 Oh, and I almost forgot - take it easy on yourself!!!!! Not everything is your fault – I swear!

Love, light, and peace,

Mambo Samantha Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

June 4, 2013
Dance in the Graveyards!

Hi!

I just can not get enough of this song. I love it on so many levels!

Love

Sister Bridget

Lyrics:

When I die
I don’t want to rest in peace
I want to dance in joy
I want to dance in the graveyards, the graveyards
And while I’m alive
I don’t want to be alone
Mourning the ones who came before
I want to dance with them some more
Let’s dance in the graveyards

Gloria, like some other name we kept on calling ya and waiting for change
But I belong to all of your mysteries

And all of us, we’re meant for the fire, but we keep rising up and walking the wires
So when we go below don’t lose us in mourning

’Cause when I die
I don’t want to rest in peace
I want to dance in joy
I want to dance in the graveyards, the graveyards
And while I’m alive
I don’t want to be alone
Mourning the ones who came before
I want to dance with them some more
Let’s dance in the graveyards

Oh my love, don’t cry when I’m gone
I will lift you up, the air in your lungs
And when you reach for me, we’ll dance in the darkness

And we will walk beyond
Our daughters and sons, they will carry on
Like when we were young, and we will stand beside and breathe in their new life

’Cause when I die
I don’t want to rest in peace
I want to dance in joy
I want to dance in the graveyards, the graveyards
And while I’m alive
I don’t want to be alone
Mourning the ones who came before
I want to dance with them some more
Let’s dance in the graveyards

May 30, 2013
Papa Alegba Month is Almost Here!

Happy Day-Before-Friday, everyone!

I cannot believe that it is almost Papa Alegba Month here at Spellmaker! Every year we dedicate June to Papa Alegba since he has THREE feast days in June (13, 21, and 29)!

This is the month where we do three free rituals here in the Spellmaker office and you can send in your petitions to be included in all three of the rituals. If you care to do some work on your own, we also have great products for Papa Alegba on his page on the Spellmaker website!

On that same page is lots of information about Papa, how to serve him, what his offerings are, etc.

One thing I wanted to talk about is why keys are so important to Papa! No self-respecting Vodouisant would ever throw away old keys! Nope, those go right on Papa's altar! Remember, he is the gatekeeper, the mediary between our world and the world of the lwa – no work gets done without his permission! We must always ask his permission to travel to and from (and to allow the lwa to travel to and from) our different worlds.

A little trick that I use, and I know have talked about this before, but I feel like it is worth repeating – is to designate certain old keys for certain things. For instance, I have three keys that I use with money work. I have 7 old keys that I use for luck work – I think you get the idea! When I start any of that type of work for myself and Parran Matt, those keys go on whatever altar I am working from. Those particular keys have been dedicated to Papa, by me, for those specific purposes. In this way, I feel like I get a little extra "oomph" from my work by having particular keys for him for the things for which I am asking!

If nothing else, just throw all your old keys in a bowl and just keep them around. (Warning: People will start to think you collect keys and you will find keys showing up everywhere! LOL) Dedicate them to Papa Legba and put that bowl of keys on whatever altar you are using for work. Believe me, he will love them and it will help unlock many doors for you! 😉

Love, light, and peace, Mambo Samantha Corfield

www.spellmaker.com

May 30, 2013
15 things to make you happier!

Hello!

This is a link to an article I just saw on FB. I don’t often repost
things I see there, because I figure, If I saw it, than so has everyone
else. BUT today I am making an exception. This article is well worth
reading. The 15 things are by some standards no small things, but even
if this article just gives us a little awareness of the time and space a
few of these things may be taking up in our lives, it is so worth it.

Hope you all have a grand day!

Love

Sister Bridget

May 21, 2013