Category: Let Go of Stress

  • Enjoy this message from Mambo Sam!

     

  • How do you deal with Frustration?

    Good Morning!!!

    Hope you all are doing well and are enjoying this lovely summer! 

    As some of you know, I have been working at times to settle some matters dealing with my father's estate. Estate stuff, at least in this situation, tends not to be very simple. I often have an idea or thought or plan of how things will go with a certain issue, and then, well, God Laughs! 

    Driving home yesterday, I certainly was feeling rather frustrated. I got to thinking alot about this feeling, and I really don not like it! It sucks, basically. And I think I would really rather not feel it so much anymore. I did a little surfing when I got home, to see if there are some tips on dealing with frustration. I would like to share with you what I have learned….

    First, just to help clarify – Frustration is a feeling that arises when something occurs which keeps us from reaching a goal or expectation. There are other feelings which can occur as well, such as disappointment. BUT mix a little anger with your disappointment, and you have frustration.

    "Expectation is the mother of all frustration"

                    …… Antonio Banderas 

    Second, we can experience different levels of frustration in different parts of our lives. Some folks are more easily frustrated in the work enviornment, some with family, some in more social settings. It seems to be the more intense a situation, the more important the goal is to us, the more easily we can become frustrated.

    Anyone out there working on a love situation? How important is it to you that it resolve successfully? 

    Third, how we handle our frustration can definitely directly influence how much frustration we could be feeling in the future! Huh, you say? I said that the first time I read this as well. But look at it this way….if we learn to handle our frustration productively, and that leads to a positive resolution to our situation, then there will be nothing to get frustrated about in the future! 

    Of course, frustration is not always a bad thing. It can be quite motivating and can help us figure out steps so that we can reach our goals. But it is how we choose to express our frustration may cause more stress in our life and the lives of others.

    So, how do we handle our frustration? What are some good tips to practice or skills to develop? 

    I found this wonderful article by Judith Orloff about Frustration, and ways to handle it. Dr Orloff has 4 tips for handiing frustration with people. Here is an exerpt: 

    Tip #1. Focus on a specific issue—don't escalate or mount a personal attack.
    For instance, "I feel frustrated when you promise to do something but there is no follow-through." No resorting to threats or insults. In an even, non-blaming tone, lead with how the behavior makes you feel rather than how you think the other person is wrong.

    Tip #2. Listen non-defensively without reacting or interrupting.
    It's a sign of respect to hear a person's point of view, even if you disagree. Avoid an aggressive tone or body language. Try not to squirm with discomfort or to judge.

    Tip #3. Intuit the feelings behind the words.
    When you can appreciate someone's motivation, it's easier to be patient. Try to sense if this person is frightened, insecure, up against a negative part of themselves they've never confronted. If so, realize this can be painful. See what change they're open to.

    Tip #4. Respond with clarity and compassion.
    This attitude takes others off the defensive so they're more comfortable admitting their part in causing frustration. Describe everything in terms of remedies to a specific task, rather then generalizing. State your needs. For instance, "I'd really appreciate you not shouting at me even if I disappoint you." If the person is willing to try, show how pleased you are. Validate their efforts: "Thanks for not yelling at me. I really value your understanding" See if the behavior improves. 

    (end exerpt) 

    I will be trying some of these techniques with the various realtors, inspectors, lawyers, etc associated with my dad's Estate and let you know which ones I have found helpful. If you try any of these tips out, I would love to hear how they worked for you :-) 

    Love

    Sister Bridget

     

     

     

     

     

  • Want to try Guided Imagery?

    Hi,

    There was some talk on the forum about Guided Imagery. I found this link to a free 15 minute sample of stress relief imagery. If you are curious about GI, then try it out!

    Have a great day.
    Light and Love
    Sister Bridget

  • 10 Tips to Tackle Holiday Stress and Sleep Well

    10 Tips to Tackle Holiday Stress and Sleep Well 

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    It seems like even those of you who generally sleep well most nights can often experience occasional, transient insomnia during the holiday season. As we move into Thanksgiving and Christmas, there is all the stress, strain and tension surrounding getting it all done.  Gifts to buy, extra food preparation, making that special dessert, having company, throwing a part, attending parties and that’s on top of all the regular activities of job and family responsibilities.  All add up and can often wreak havoc with your circadian rhythms.  We’re burdened with thinking it all needs to be perfect and you try to make it all happen.  Your system gets overloaded with stress, not to mention extra food and beverages.

    The following 10 tips are offered to help you maintain your sanity:

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    1. Normal Routine.  Try to keep to your normal routine as much as possible.  That means going to bed as close to your regular time and rising at around the same time each day.  Of course, this will be challenging on party nights, but try to keep these to a minimum.

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    2. Plan Ahead.  If you’ve got company coming, try to alleviate some of your ‘last-minute stress’ by purchasing groceries, gifts or even doing advanced food preparation ahead of time.  Get the gifts wrapped.  That was always my job and mom loved it that it was one less thing she needed to do.

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    3. Regular Exercise.  Exercise is one of the precursors to achieving good sleep.  Besides, it’s just simply healthy for you.  Try to maintain your regular routine.  Hit the gym or at least get out for a walk.  You mind will be refreshed and your body thankful, and you will sleep better.

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    4. Ask for Help.  The holiday festivities don’t need to be your total responsibility.  Ask family members to assist in the preparations.  If you don’t ask, they may not know how stressed and burdened you feel.  And, there is a very good chance they will be very receptive to pitching in to make this ajoyous time for all.  Enlist your family to clean and decorate the house, wrap the gifts and prepare the meals.

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    5. Reduce Caffeine.  Keep your caffeine intake to a bare minimum or not at all.  Caffeine can have a very long half-life, particularly in those who sleep lightly to begin with.  Adding caffeine to increased stress levels is a sure-fire way to disrupt your sleep even more.

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    6. Watch your Alcohol Intake.  Alcohol, even in small quantities, can induce a false sense of sleepiness.  But falling into an alcohol-induced sleep state will be anything but satisfying.  Your slumber will be restless and it is doubtful you will enter deep delta sleep, which is needed for that energized feeling the next day.

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    7. Water – Drink Lots.  Dehydration can be your worst enemy, particularly if you are having more than your usual amount of alcohol.  Make sure your body is well hydrated with at least 8 – 10 8-oz. cups per day.  Water makes up 85 of your muscles, and 75% of your brain.  Make sure you don’t dry out.

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    8. Be kind to Yourself.  Before your shoulders end up bunched up into your ears, seeming never to get unstuck, reward yourself and take a break.  Plan a relaxing massage, facial or manicure.  A massage is great for you guys too.

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    9. Breathe Deeply.  Diaphragmatic breathing is an excellent way to induce relaxation throughout your entire body.  Test whether you are a chest or belly breather by putting one hand on your chest and one on your belly.  Look down as you breathe (normally).  Whichever hand rises first indicates your normal breathing pattern.  Most people are ‘chest’ breathers by habit.  Just for 5 minutes focus breathing letting your diaphragm rise first.  Your breathing will be slow and deeper.  Even 5 minutes of deep belly breathing will induce relaxation.  Plus it simply relaxes you and feels good.

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    10. Talk to your Brain.  After you’ve done some deep diaphragmatic breathing (this really helps to relax you), then have a chat with your brain.  Tell it you will sleep soundly tonight.  Tell it you deserve a restful peaceful night.

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    The mind-body connection is really significant.  Make use of this amazingly powerful tool. Practice these behaviors and you will sleep soundly and have pleasant dreams of sugarplums and Christmas Kringle making everything just right and come visit http://thespiritofsleep.com for more useful information on sleep.

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    Author and Sleep Coach, Glenda Sparling, can help you address and overcome the challenges you face around sleep issues and insomnia. Her e-book, The Spirit of Sleep, which offers effective natural tools, techniques and behaviors for eliminating sleep anxiety and insomnia.