Hi there!
This needs to be watched and shared with all you know and love! Where ever you are in life right now, this speech is inspirational!
Love
Sister Bridget
Author: Sister Bridget Corfield
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How do you deal with Frustration?
Good Morning!!!
Hope you all are doing well and are enjoying this lovely summer!
As some of you know, I have been working at times to settle some matters dealing with my father's estate. Estate stuff, at least in this situation, tends not to be very simple. I often have an idea or thought or plan of how things will go with a certain issue, and then, well, God Laughs!
Driving home yesterday, I certainly was feeling rather frustrated. I got to thinking alot about this feeling, and I really don not like it! It sucks, basically. And I think I would really rather not feel it so much anymore. I did a little surfing when I got home, to see if there are some tips on dealing with frustration. I would like to share with you what I have learned….
First, just to help clarify – Frustration is a feeling that arises when something occurs which keeps us from reaching a goal or expectation. There are other feelings which can occur as well, such as disappointment. BUT mix a little anger with your disappointment, and you have frustration.
"Expectation is the mother of all frustration"
…… Antonio Banderas
Second, we can experience different levels of frustration in different parts of our lives. Some folks are more easily frustrated in the work enviornment, some with family, some in more social settings. It seems to be the more intense a situation, the more important the goal is to us, the more easily we can become frustrated.
Anyone out there working on a love situation? How important is it to you that it resolve successfully?
Third, how we handle our frustration can definitely directly influence how much frustration we could be feeling in the future! Huh, you say? I said that the first time I read this as well. But look at it this way….if we learn to handle our frustration productively, and that leads to a positive resolution to our situation, then there will be nothing to get frustrated about in the future!
Of course, frustration is not always a bad thing. It can be quite motivating and can help us figure out steps so that we can reach our goals. But it is how we choose to express our frustration may cause more stress in our life and the lives of others.
So, how do we handle our frustration? What are some good tips to practice or skills to develop?
I found this wonderful article by Judith Orloff about Frustration, and ways to handle it. Dr Orloff has 4 tips for handiing frustration with people. Here is an exerpt:
Tip #1. Focus on a specific issueādon't escalate or mount a personal attack.
For instance, "I feel frustrated when you promise to do something but there is no follow-through." No resorting to threats or insults. In an even, non-blaming tone, lead with how the behavior makes you feel rather than how you think the other person is wrong.Tip #2. Listen non-defensively without reacting or interrupting.
It's a sign of respect to hear a person's point of view, even if you disagree. Avoid an aggressive tone or body language. Try not to squirm with discomfort or to judge.Tip #3. Intuit the feelings behind the words.
When you can appreciate someone's motivation, it's easier to be patient. Try to sense if this person is frightened, insecure, up against a negative part of themselves they've never confronted. If so, realize this can be painful. See what change they're open to.Tip #4. Respond with clarity and compassion.
This attitude takes others off the defensive so they're more comfortable admitting their part in causing frustration. Describe everything in terms of remedies to a specific task, rather then generalizing. State your needs. For instance, "I'd really appreciate you not shouting at me even if I disappoint you." If the person is willing to try, show how pleased you are. Validate their efforts: "Thanks for not yelling at me. I really value your understanding" See if the behavior improves.(end exerpt)
I will be trying some of these techniques with the various realtors, inspectors, lawyers, etc associated with my dad's Estate and let you know which ones I have found helpful. If you try any of these tips out, I would love to hear how they worked for you :-)
Love
Sister Bridget
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Fet Ghede Potion Follow Up š
Hey there
A few weeks ago, Mambo Sam announced a very special offering of a unique potion. Fet Ghede Potion was made by Mambo, Parran, myself and a few special members of our Voodoo House. You can read the details about the potion and the process here, of course, but I mostly wanted to relay my experiences with the potion, and hope others will join in as well š
I started using my bottle a bit last week. As with everything Mambo Sam makes, this stuff is simply awesome in power and vibration! I have used the potion in a bit of candlework, some doll work, and with my meditations and prayers. I have to say, my experiences meditating while wearing just a drop of this potion are amazing. There are times when I have much difficulty quieting my mind to meditate – I have not had that problem when I use this potion. I sometimes have a little trouble remembering specific guidance I get during meditation – again, not so when I have used this potion. My meditations are much more clear, peaceful, and I want to use the word "vibrant" here. Now, that may not make much sense as far as meditating goes to some of you, but that is the best word I have to describe what I am experiencing. Really Amazing.
I hope some of you who already have some of this wonderful stuff will chime in with your experiences too!
For those of you who are still considering getting yourself a bottle, remember supplies are limited! (Well, at least until next Fet Ghede). If you have any questions about the potion use, the potion does some with full instructions, as well as a free 10 minute consult with Mambo Sam for any questions you may have.
Hope to see your feedback soon!
Love
Sister Bridget
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How much is too much?
Hi there-
I came across this very good little commentary and wanted to share! It says so much in a few paragraphs. How much is enough? How much is good for us to tolerate? or not tolerate? I hope you all find this as helpful as I did.
Love
Sister Bridget
Too much Tolerance can be a Bad Thing.
Commentary
By
Robert Pagliarini
(MoneyWatch) You may not know it, but you have a tolerance meter — an internal gauge that tells you when enough is enough. The problem for many is that their tolerance meter is set too high — that they put up with far too much for far too long. We stay at jobs we hate because it is "comfortable enough," and because changing requires so much more energy. We'll endure critical bosses who never have nice things to say about us because we tell ourselves that they're not "that bad." We'll live paycheck to paycheck for years because we fool ourselves into thinking it's the "best we can do."
It is easy to fall into the mental trap of mediocrity. Because it doesn't take much to get by, we grow complacent. We stop growing and seeking challenges. We don't push ourselves to succeed. We cultivate a lifestyle well below our potential, but one that is just good enough that it doesn't require much challenge or action.
Tolerance is critical for survival. It has allowed us to endure horrific conditions by helping us quickly adapt to the situation. Our ability to adapt to our surroundings is both a gift and a curse. There are some life forms that cannot survive unless their conditions are ideal. Vary their environment even a little and they perish. We don't have this problem. We can tolerate, and even flourish, in wild extremes.
But when it comes to our careers, relationships, health, and lives, tolerance and adaptability are also curses. It's amazing how much we can tolerate when our environment changes slowly. Incremental change is our worst enemy. It permits us to gradually accept living standards that we never would have accepted in the beginning.
The best way to determine if you have settled is to take an honest look at your present situation. Are you where you want to be? Have you forgotten once vivid dreams and aspirations? Success has been defined as the progressive realization of a worthy goal. Based on this definition, are you successful?
There is a dark side to not "settling." I'm sure there is at least one person in your life that suffers from the belief that nothing is ever good enough. No matter how successful they become or how much money they make, they are never satisfied with their lives. This mindset is a guaranteed formula for frustration and unhappiness. So while it is healthy and motivating to work for and dream about reaching your goals, it is imperative to be thankful for where you are and what you already have. Regardless of your situation, you have a thousand things for which to give thanks. Do not lose sight of these aspects of your life. Don't lose sight of how far you've come and of what you've already accomplished on your journey in life.
The solution is to demand more from yourself (and often from others!). Draw a line in the sand and make a commitment to progress. Look at your situation with a set of fresh eyes and ask yourself, "How can I do better?" The moment you realize getting by isn't good enough is the moment your life can start to change.
Ā© 2013 CBS Interactive Inc..
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On FB and in a relationship – this is a MUST READ!
Happy Friday!
Do you want this….
or this?
I came across this artlcle last night just before bed, and I had to restrain myself from getting up right then and there and posting the link! Over the past few years, I have seen this exact thing happen over and over — some of you who I have read with will remember me telling you to get off of FB and stop looking at certain people's profiles — For The Good of your Case! I am so glad that there are people looking into this issue of the impact of FB and the whole new level of knowledge or exposure we have about other people in our lives. Being able to look into someone's life this closely was not heard of 10 or 15 years ago – and of course, people were not sharing this much information then either. Balance is everything!
I do hope this article is helpful to some! And have a great weekend everyone!
Love
Sister Bridget
Excessive Facebook use can damage relationships, study finds
Facebook and other social networking web sites have revolutionized the way people create and
maintain relationships. However, new research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging
to users' romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the University of Missouri
School of Journalism, found that individuals who use Facebook excessively are far more likely to
experience Facebookārelated conflict with their romantic partners, which then may cause negative
relationship outcomes including emotional and physical cheating, breakup and divorce.
In their study, Clayton, along with Alexander Nagurney, an instructor at the University of Hawaii at Hilo,
and Jessica R. Smith, a doctoral student at St. Mary's University in San Antonio, surveyed Facebook users ages 18 to 82 years old. Participants were asked to describe how often they used Facebook and how much, if any, conflict arose between their current or former partners as a result of Facebook use. The researchers found that high levels of Facebook use among couples significantly predicted Facebook-related conflict, which then significantly predicted negative relationship outcomes such as cheating, breakup, and divorce. "Previous research has shown that the more a person in a romantic relationship uses Facebook, the more likely they are to monitor their partner's Facebook activity more stringently, which can lead to feelings of jealousy," Clayton said. "Facebook-induced jealousy may lead to arguments concerning past partners. Also, our study found that excessive Facebook users are more likely to connect or reconnect with other Facebook users, including previous partners, which may lead to emotional and physical cheating."
Clayton says this trend was particularly apparent in newer relationships.
"These findings held only for couples who had been in relationships of three years or less," Clayton said.
"This suggests that Facebook may be a threat to relationships that are not fully matured. On the other hand, participants who have been in relationships for longer than three years may not use Facebook as often, or may have more matured relationships, and therefore Facebook use may not be a threat or concern."
In order to prevent such conflict from arising, Clayton recommends couples, especially those who have not been together for very long, to limit their own personal Facebook use.
"Although Facebook is a great way to learn about someone, excessive Facebook use may be damaging to
newer romantic relationships," Clayton said. "Cutting back to moderate, healthy levels of Facebook usage could help reduce conflict, particularly for newer couples who are still learning about each other."
This study is forthcoming in the Journal of Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking.ļ»æ
ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebookārelated conflict with their romantic partners, which thRead more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp
ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebookārelated conflict with their romantic partners, which thRead more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp
ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebookārelated conflict with their romantic partners, which thRead more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp
ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebookārelated conflict with their romantic partners, which thRead more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp
ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebookārelated conflict with their romantic partners, which thRead more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp
ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebookārelated conflict with their romantic partners, which thRead more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp
ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebookārelated conflict with their romantic partners, which thRead more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp
ships. However, new
research shows that Facebook use could actually be damaging to users'
romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the
University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that individuals who
use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience
Facebookārelated conflict with their romantic partners, which thRead more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp
Facebook and other
social networking web sites have revolutionized the way people create
and maintain relationships. However, new research shows that Facebook
use could actually be damaging to users' romantic relationships. Russell
Clayton, a doctoral student in the University of Missouri School of
Journalism, found that individuals who use Facebook excessively are far
more likely to experience Facebookārelated conflict with their romantic
partners, which then may cause negative relationship outcomes including
emotional and physical cheating, breakup and divorce.Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp
Facebook and other
social networking web sites have revolutionized the way people create
and maintain relationships. However, new research shows that Facebook
use could actually be damaging to users' romantic relationships. Russell
Clayton, a doctoral student in the University of Missouri School of
Journalism, found that individuals who use Facebook excessively are far
more likely to experience Facebookārelated conflict with their romantic
partners, which then may cause negative relationship outcomes including
emotional and physical cheating, breakup and divorce.Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp
Facebook and other
social networking web sites have revolutionized the way people create
and maintain relationships. However, new research shows that Facebook
use could actually be damaging to users' romantic relationships. Russell
Clayton, a doctoral student in the University of Missouri School of
Journalism, found that individuals who use Facebook excessively are far
more likely to experience Facebookārelated conflict with their romantic
partners, which then may cause negative relationship outcomes including
emotional and physical cheating, breakup and divorce.Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2013-06-excessive-facebook-relationships.html#jCp
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15 things to make you happier!
Hello!
This is a link to an article I just saw on FB. I donāt often repost
things I see there, because I figure, If I saw it, than so has everyone
else. BUT today I am making an exception. This article is well worth
reading. The 15 things are by some standards no small things, but even
if this article just gives us a little awareness of the time and space a
few of these things may be taking up in our lives, it is so worth it.Hope you all have a grand day!
Love
Sister Bridget
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Get Creative!
Hello!
I wanted to let you all know about a little product tip I have recently discovered. I was doing some work with the Baron and Maman Brigitte over the winter. It was cold out, and dark all the time, and I was really having trouble focusing on some projects I was working on. I felt stuck, blah, Shortly after completing my service, I happened to pick up a vial of Spellmaker's Voodoo Sexual Essence Oil and dabbed a little on my wrists. First, let me just say that the scent is AMAZING! Then, something else happened – the work which was feeling blah before was going better – I felt more creative and motivated than I had is quite some time. Then it hit me – who else would be at the center of creating new and exciting things ? The Baron and Brigitte, of course! They are all about creation! Now, when I set out for work in the morning, or I feel stuck on an idea or way of thinking that needs an "outside of the box" approach I dab on a bit of this oil, and let the new, super creative ideas start rolling :-) This oil would be great for artists, writers, etc, who are looking for some creative inspiration. But you do not need to be an artist to benefit from the creative boost this oil provides!
Love
Sister Bridget
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Monday Morning Inspiration.
Hi there-
Hope you all had a lovely weekend. It was pretty snowy and cold where I am, so I spent a little time watching movies. I rewatched a classic – Cool Hand Luke. Paul Newman and those baby blues — Oh My!
This scene below has been staying on my mind, and I wanted to share it with all of you. It is the epitome of determination, the fighting spirit, and to just keep on swinging, no matter how things seem.
Hope you all have a great week!
Love
Sister Bridget
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Following a Resolution.
Hi there!
Part of ny New Year's resolution was for me to try new and exciting things. I am taking a jewelry making class. I am getting ready to sell my house and make a really bold move. I am looking at my financials in a new light. I have also decided to try branching out a bit in my practice. I am currently starting up a shop on Etsy, and have also recently listed my readings on KEEN. It can be relaly hard in today's world to know how and where to focus one's energies. There are so many options on the 'net today and social media, to say the least, can be overwhemling. They key for me is to try really hard not to get overwhelmed by the choices, and know that the only way to know what path is right for me, is by trial and error. I do my research, listen to my guidance, and then take a try. It is a step – not always forwards, but a step none the less. Change can be scarey. New things can be overwhelming. But no progress can be made by standing still. In these days following the New Year, when your resolutions are still fresh in your mind, I encourage you to try, to take a step and see where it goes. You will miss 100% of the chances that you do not take.
Blessings,
Sister Bridget