• Making Healthy Decisions – Part 6

    Good morning everyone!  As we continue on with our series on making healthy decisions, I wanted to stop for a moment and clarify what this series is all about.  Many of my readers are those engaged in more esoteric studies – spells, spiritual growth, magickal endeavors, etc.  Those readers are tending to put this exercise in that category.  While it can be used in that way to some degree, this is meant to be about every day decision making.  Some of the information may be useful in spell casting, but really it would be more useful deciding when or if to do spell casting, not so much to assist you with the actual process. 🙂

    Our next question to ask ourselves when making a decison is: 

    What Really Matters?

    This can be extremely beneficial.  Taking the time to figure out what really matters to you is crucial to making a good decision.  For some of us, we think that everything matters equally – we are passionate about every little thing. On the surface, this can seem admirable; when you look a little deeper you will see that this means that we treat all things equally.  It is very difficult to live successfully in this way.  Prioritzing things in your life will make you more organized, let you know when to pick your battles (and not everything is worth a battle – really, it isn't), and allow you to let go of certain things in order to accomplish other, more important, things.

    For most people,  beings with emotional capabilities will come first – children, spouses, parents, friends, pets, etc. For some, they themselves will come first.  After those obvious choices, what really  matters after that?  Understanding what your priorities are and how your decision impacts them will allow you to weed out things that don't matter and leave you with a clearer understanding of what your decision needs to be.

    For instance, is your job the means by which you take care of the things that are most important (money) or is there another way that you care for those things (emotionally, perhaps)?  If you say yes to the former, then job decisions are going to be weighed against the impact on others. If you say yes to the latter, then job decisions may be based entirely on other criteria.

    Therefore, deciding what really matters to you will help you in making a healthy  decision.  🙂

    Love, light, and peace,

    Mambo Samantha Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

    Decisionsahead
     

  • Making Healthy Decisions – Part 4

    PLEASE NOTE: Sorry, I accidently got these out of order! So after this will actually come Part 6 since Part 5 was already published. Sorry for the confusion!

    Greetings, everyone! As we continue on with our series about making healthy decisions, we move on to our next question to ask ourselves:

    What Am I Not Seeing?

    We have a tendency to sometimes protect ourselves in difficult situations by not being willing to seek out what we are not wanting to see about a situation. It is something we all do – we can have a tendency to gloss over the details that are unpleasant to us. Naturally this can lead to some disasters in decision making!

    Often, what we're not seeing is what we don't want to see. While it may be difficult, or sometimes even painful, force yourself to look at what you don't want to see. Hiding details from yourself is truly not helping you. Trying to force an objective, dispassionate view of the situation can be tricky and take some practice, but try it! It is very difficult for a human being to try to remove emotion from a decision. Sometimes we can trick ourselves into it by pretending that the situation actually belongs to someone else – what would we tell them that we can see?

    Looking at the situation from the outside looking in can often really help us in seeing what we think might not be there! Taking off our blinders and searching for clues might be difficult, however, the end reward is completely worth it!

    Love, light, and peace,

    Mambo Samantha Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

  • Healthy Decision Making – Part 5

    Hello everyone! We are at the half way point in our series on making healthy decisions! I forgot to mention in the beginning that these things should be done in order! Ask the questions in the order in which they are presented. For instance, today's question:

    What Would my Grandmother

    (or mother, father, Jesus, Buddha, the Lwa, whomever's philosophy your admire) Do?

    Thinking of a role model, whether a great spiritual teacher, admired friend or family member, spiritual person, etc., is like having a mentor on-call. Ask yourself what this person would do if facing the same situation. You should use someone whose philosophies are well known to you and are admired by you. This is not to offset your own opinion or philosophy but rather to put things in perspective by looking at another point of view, one you have admired.

    This is not to go get another opinion, this is more to see what your decision would like if shaped around an admired philosophy. The decision might not be exactly right for you configured within those parameters, however, it will give you another perspective to consider. This question should be asked after you have established the prior points in this exercise. You must first consider your own feelings and thoughts before putting someone else's spin on your decision! 🙂

    Love, light, and peace,

    Mambo Samantha Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

  • Making Healthy Decisions – Part 3

    Hello everyone!
    Today we are continuing our series on methods to use for helping make healthy decisions. Today's question to ask yourself is:
    What Are My Values?

    While some values might be considered universal and subjective, each of us have our own set of values germane to only us. In order for your decision to please you long term, you are going to have to make it happen within the parameters of your own set of values. At this point in the decision-making process, it is our values that come into play, leaving alone what others might think (we will get to that later).

    First we must decide how our decision impacts our core values. For some, honesty might come first; for others stretching the truth might seem perfectly acceptable. Those two people are going to come to their decisions differently and most likely with a different outcome. There is no judgment here as to right or wrong, you must decide what is acceptable within your value set.

    Most all of us know what is okay with us and what is absolutely not okay with us. Looking to this set of values will help you make the decision so it falls in accordance with sitting well with you later on! If the decision is going to lead you down a path heretofore unacceptable to you then either you are experiencing a drastic change in values or you are making the wrong decision! Most like, it will be the latter.

    If you don't have a stable set of core values, you may want to look to establishing that for yourself. Most people already have, but every once in awhile I have a client tell me that they are unsure what is okay or not okay with them. While it is great to be flexible, there should be a basic set of values keeping you strong! 🙂

    Love, light, and peace,

    Mambo Samantha Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

  • Making Healthy Decisions – Part 2

    Hello everyone!  As promised, we are moving on with our series about Making Healthy Decisions.  🙂

    Today's question to ask yourself when making a decision is:

    What Does My Body Have to Say About This?

    We hear a lot about "gut" decisions.  Really, that is no joke!  40 trillion cells can't be wrong!  :-)  When you are working on a decision, take some quiet time and just sit and listen to what your body is telling you.  Even if you want something badly, how are you feeling physically?  Does your heart get aflutter with anticipation?  Do you feel sick to your stomach?  Are your limbs tingling?  Does your decision make you smile, cry, laugh?

    Take some time to note the feelings you get from your body about your decision. If your decision fills you with dread, you might want to take some time to try altering the decision in your mind and then noting how your body feels about it!  If your body doesn't feel good about the decision, try reworking it until you notice feelings of relief, smiles, even laughter!  :-) 

    You are hard-wired with instinct and abilities to help yourself make a decision.  Most of us have been taught to ignore those very things that were given to us!  Try starting out by just listening to and feeling your body in different states of emotion – how does it feel when something is good for you?  What are the sensations within your body?  How does it feel when something is bad for you?  What physical manifestations do you get?  Learning to discern what your body is telling you is the first step to receiving your body's own physical guidance for you! Learning to then TRUST that guidance will be the next step.  That will only come with practice!

    Practice can be simple or complex.  One very easy way to practice is to watch movies or TV shows!  Watch a movie that is funny, inspirational, or in some way positive to you.  Pay attention to how your body feels – note each part of your body and the sensations that are there.  Continue on with a movie or show that is sad or makes you angry or feels in some way negative to you (not that being sad is always negative).  Again, pay attention to what your body's reactions are.  Make note of these sensations so that you will recognize them when it comes to decision making.

    Try it! 🙂

    Love, light, and peace,

    Mambo Samantha Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

    Listen-to-Your-Gut
     

  • Making Healthy Decisions – Part One

    Happy Monday, everyone!

    So often good people ask me about the decisions they are trying to make in their life.  Certainly getting advice from someone can be invaluable – especially if they are a professional or have your best interest at heart (even better if they are both!).  🙂

    Of course, we don't want to have to consult someone for every decision we make!  Having the ability to make your own healthy decisions is a skill well worth having and/or developing.  Today we start a series of exercises and thoughts to help us develop our decision-making process.

    The very first question to ask yourself when making any decision is:

    Is this good for me?

    You must first absolutely decide whether or not something is good for you!  And not just now – what about later?  We all have cravings, desires, needs, and wants.  However, are they all good for you now and later?  How will this decision impact you now, next week, next year, in 10 years?  

    While it is understandable that you might take into consideration how your decision impacts family, friends, co-workers, etc., you must FIRST take into consideration whether "it" is good for you!  Once you decide that, you can then take into consideration other people. 

    Now you have a place to start:  Is this good for me?  Start practicing asking yourself that during situations where it might not matter as much so when it comes time for big decision making you will already have a place to start!

    Start today!  What will you wear to work tomorrow?  Is it good for you?  Where are you going to eat lunch?  Is it good for you?  Where are you going to park at the mall?  Is it good for you?  What's am I watching on TV tonight?  Is it good for you? 

    Remember, "good for you" doesn't just mean eat your vegetables and don't watch too much TV – what satisfies your soul?  What makes you feel good about yourself?  Once you figure out what is good for you, you will be on your way to making great decisions!

    Bookmark or save this post!  (It is good for you!)  ;-)  I will be adding more information over the next few days about how to make healthy decisions and set your life in the right direction!

    Love, light, and peace,

    Mambo Samantha Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

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  • Arizona/New Mexico Wildfires

    Hello everyone,

    I am sure that many of you are aware of the raging wildfires in Arizona and New Mexico.  It has caused devasting losses of property across both states (mostly Arizona at this point).  I would ask that you all please pray for those who are fighting these fires, that they will be kept safe.  Also, please pray for those who have lost their homes or have otherwise been displaced by this awful fire.

    Air quality here even here in the Albuquerque area has been pretty awful.  The destructive power and long-term effects of a fire this size are pretty devastating.  If you can spare a moment, please pray for those involved.

    For those in the affected areas – please stay safe!  Evacuate when you are told and don't stay and try to "ride it out."   Fire has no mercy!

    Love, light, and peace,

    Mambo Samantha Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

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  • And so it begins!

    Papa Legba Month – 2011  🙂

    Happy Monday everyone!  A very special day today!  Of course we begin our amazing triple rituals to Papa Legba today AND a very happy birthday to my son, Ira.  :-)  I just don't know how the heck he got to be 39 when I am only 35!  LOL LOL LOL  Seriously, a wonderful day all around.

    I hope you have all sent in your letters to be included in the free rituals.  If not, it is not too late, just visit the Papa Alegba Page and visit the link to send in your letter.

    Now we all know that Papa is there to open doors for us, smooth the path, and in general make things easier. Remember though that you can be quite creative in what you are asking.  Papa is the great interpreter.  He speaks and understands all languages.  A very good petition to him is to make yourself and your intentions understood.  This might be in a love case, but it could be for anything.  Perhaps you are having trouble understanding your teenage children and they you.  Remember Papa works BOTH ways – to help you be understood, but also to help you understand.

    Many times during spell work we forget to ask for ourselves to understand what is happening and why.  Most often we forget to try to understand what role we play or played in what is happening to us!  Without self-awareness most things are doomed to failure.  Ask Papa to help you understand what your role is in whatever situation you find yourself in.  I am not saying that you should assign the "blame" for things onto yourself.  However, we can easily get wrapped up in what we want someone else to do and forget that there are things that we, too, need to do to improve the situation.

    Many times people visualize Papa has their grandfather or trusted uncle or elder male confidante.  I think all of these are wonderful visualizations.  Talk to him!  Have a cup of coffee and a little treat with him (yes, a little treat for you, too!).  Ask him for the awareness that you need to truly see your situation and to understand and be understood.   Most all situations are a two-way street, though we generally tend to get wrapped up in only one way – the way that gets us what we want.  Or so we think!  Learning both sides of the street is a sure path to success. 

    Have a great day everyone!

    Love, light, and peace,

    Mambo Samantha Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

    Legba Picture is COPYRIGHT! © Erzulie Red Eyes Art and Spirit 2010-2011 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
     

  • You Cannot Please Everyone and…

    you should stop trying!  :-)  Now I realize that it pretty easy to say and not so easy to put into practice.  Howeve, as a person who spends a great deal of time trying to please everyone it has been a harsh lesson to me.  No matter how hard I try, someone, somewhere will be displeased with what I do. Of course, my business, www.spellmaker.com, is a service business!  Try as I might over the years, there are still folks who end up displeased with me.  :-(  To this day, I take it very personally!

    However, on a day-to-day basis, too many of us try too hard to please too many people.  Most of 
    know what the result of that is!  To that end, here is one of my favorite Aesop's Fables:

    A Man and his son were once going with their Donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said: “You fools, what is a Donkey for but to ride upon?”

    So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their way.  But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: “See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”

    So the Man ordered his Boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn’t gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”

    Well, the Man didn’t know what to do, but at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey.  By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them.  The Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at.  The men said: “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey with you and your hulking son?”

    The Man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do.  They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders.  They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, when the Donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end of the pole.  In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge, and his fore-feet being tied together he was drowned.

    “That will teach you,” said an old man who had followed them: “Please all, and you will please none.”

    ——End of Story

    Here's to keeping your donkey dry!  🙂

    Love, light, and peace,

    Mambo Samantha Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

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  • Is it worth it?

    Hello everyone!  I know we have talked about this subject before, but I thought it was worth revisiting.  All the time in readings I get asked the question, "Is s/he worth me doing (or continuing to do) love spell work on?"

    Generally speaking, I don't have an answer for that because I think that only you can tell if someone is worth your time, trouble, money, and energy.  That is what I usually tell you – "You tell me if s/he is worth it!"  Some of you laugh, some of  you get angry with me, and some of you find your thoughts provoked!

    In all fairness, some things that I can tell you is whether or not I think the person you are working on or considering working on is an inherently bad or good person.  (And, yes, I think some people ARE inherently bad and no amount of healing or goodie-two-shoes work on them is going to make them a good person!)  I can tell you if I feel any love for you there.  I can tell you if there intentions are good or bad towards you.  However, even knowing those things from me, only you can tell me if it is worth it.

    But what factors might come into figuring out if it is worth it?  Here is an excerpt from an article by Daniel Harken:

    "You're having problems in your relationship, and while you love your partner, you simply aren't sure as to whether it's worth saving. The vast majority of relationships can be saved – the question is, should you? This article will help you answer that question.

    The first question if you're deciding if your relationship is worth saving is if there is abuse involved. Whether this is physical or emotional abuse, it doesn't matter. If there is any kind of abuse going on, you need to get out of that relationship – if you have kids, this is especially imperative. No relationship is worth saving when there's abuse involved – it will only escalate over time.

    If there's no abuse, you then have to look at whether you enjoy being around this person or not. Are they one of your favorite people to simply hang around with? If not, you need to figure out if you can regain the good times or not. This requires some objectivity, but it's the simplest thing in the world – if you don't enjoy being around them at all, things need to change.

    If there's infidelity involved, you have to figure out how that's going to affect the rest of your marriage or relationship. If you can't trust them, or they can't trust you, is this going to become more of a problem over time, or less? Infidelity always has a profound effect on relationships, and, while it can be often-times be worked through, it can't always.

    Another question is: are your needs being met? Do you feel like you're being listened to, are you appreciated? If the answer to either of those are, there's a very fundamental problem in your relationship. It's nothing that can't be fixed – and in fact, changing your own behaviors can often lead to your partner changing theirs. You have to figure out if the potential is there, though in order to know evaluate if the relationship is actually worth saving.

    Figuring out your own behaviors is actually one of the absolute most critical steps here. You have to objectively look at what you are doing – are you belittling them? Are you constantly nagging at them, or making them feel inadequate or unappreciated? If so, or if you are doing other negative behaviors, are you truly willing to change?

    You have to assume that turning your relationship around will have to begin with you – are you willing to educate yourself and actually commit yourself to making changes? This is no small matter. That commitment will take a lot of effort, and a lot of learning. You have to retrain yourself to not be defensive anymore, and to be less critical and learn to show your appreciation of your partner, or your relationship will not be worth saving.

    After you evaluate all these factors, you need to sit down and really look at the situation. Are you willing to make the changes, do you think the potential is there for your partner to? Is marriage or couples therapy an option? Get out there and study up on more relationship information – the more you have, the better equipped you will be able to decide if it's worth saving, and the better you'll be if you actually try to save your relationship."

    End of Article

    So, as we can see, there are a lot of factors in the decision of whether a relationship is worth continuing or pursuing.  But I do want to bring up one last thing that I feel is of the utmost importance – you must always feel right about what you are doing.  Listen to your inner voice, your gut, whatever you want to call it.  No matter what anyone else says, if you feel right about the relationship, and you are being safe, then no one should be able to talk you out of going forward (or not) but you!  :-)  Your friends, family, myself, and anyone else you talk to may have a valuable opinion.  However, in the end, your happiness in your life, and the pursuit thereof is your choice to make.  Other people in your life may not see what you see in a person – that is fine, as long as you are true to yourself about what you see. 

    Love, light, and peace,

    Mambo Samantha  Corfield, www.spellmaker.com

    Betrue